---

Maria's Story

Hi Everyone!

I am here because I am desperate. It had been a long time since I had cried so desperately like I am doing as I write this. I am a 30 yr. old married mother a 12 yr. old girl and a 6 yr. old boy who is currently doing great after being treated for PDD a form of autism. I am currently attending my first semester at SDSU for a B.A. in Psychology and later for a Masters in Autism. I came across this board after obsessively trying to find what is wrong with me.

I have suffered from Rheumatoid Arthritis since I was a child so I know what an illness is. After turning 21 and having a bilateral hip replacement my arthritis went into remission though and for the first time in many years I was allowed by life to rest from the pain and limitations.

Four years ago I had a terrible rollover car accident in which I broke my spine twice, my face, my rib, and two fingers. I was blessed because after being in intensive care with the possibility of becoming paralized from the neck down and in terrible pain for months I once again recovered. I did not let this win and I was walking again without pain in six months. That is how it went for the next two years. It seemed as if the accident had given me a boost and instead of going downhill I recovered with a new taste and desire for life. As I was recovering my toddler got diagnosed with Autism and my new outlook in life gave me the strength and wisdom to deal with the disorder. Two years later I met my now husband and together with my girl we were able to help my child progress amazingly.

After meeting him though I got myself on birth control (nuvaring) for the first time in my life. That is when thing started changing. I have a feeling the BC was just what triggered whatever underlying problems I had and where waiting to emerge.

Two years now and everything has gotten worse and worse with time. I am having serious migraines/headaches 3-4 times a week that are triggered with almost anything now, terrible upperback/neck pain, insomnia that last until 3:00 a.m. sometimes and inability to wake in the morning because I am so tired. I am exhausted all the time. From being someone who watched her weight and excercised alot of the time I am now 50 pounds overweight (20 i gained in the first three months) with no desire to excercise because I am always tired and besides I do not lose a gram. Everything hurst all of the time I guess to my recently diagnosed Fybromyalgia. My hair is coarse and thinning, I am getting acne like crazy, and have a face that looks like a tortilla. I have grown a belly that has been confused for being pregnant and besides my face everything else is skinny. I have grown a buffalo hump which has made me really self-conscious. I am extremely moody and my desire for being with my husband is completely squashed by my exhaustion.

This where the other problem starts. My doctor WILL NOT LISTEN TO ME. I am sure he thinks I have becomed hypochondriac and depressed. I have tons of narcotics in my cab. Last time I went he gave me my 4th antidepressant. I am not depressed!!! Well now I am, but it's because he will not listen and I feel like crap all the time.

So I went to a Mexico doctor three weeks ago and she patiently listened to my neverending list of symptoms. She ordered labs on me and an ultrasound for the thyroid. Thyroid came out clear. My glucose tests came out high though and my cortisol came out low (3.0) in the morning. Also she told she was concerned for the Prednisone for the RA i took for almost 3 yrs when I was younger. She told me it was extremely necessary for an MRI which I can't afford right now and that I see an endocrinologist soon.

I told my doctor and he answered in a self-righteous tone that mexican doctors had arrangements with labs sometimes and because his labs came ok he would not send me. I was close to asking him if he had an arrangement with Medi-cal. I did not, out of respect since he has been my doctor for more than 20 yrs. He refused for the 3rd time to really listen to me and send me to a specialist. I called the only endocrinologist in my valley and the secretary in a very rude tone told me they could not take me with Medi-Cal without a referral. I told her my doctor did not want to refer me and she was very quick to answer there was nothing they could do and hung up.

I am sitting right now wondering how to either bring up the money or make them listen to me. Besides the endocrinologist she recommended in Mexico is packed for the next two months. All of this is taking a toll on everyone around me.

I am not crying out of depression. I am crying out of helplessness and desperation. I want to do something and I can't. I have strong gut feeling I either have Cushing's, Adrenal Fatigue, or something around there. I do not know what to do. The doctors where I live suck and I do not have the money to pay a specialist out of pocket, and the doctors who accept Medi-Cal are less as time goes on.