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Marci's Story

I saw the Discovery Ch special last night, so I've been surfing around. I personally have "think" cycles where I am sure there is something wrong and I am going to figure it out, to the other side of the spectrum where I am crazy and just fat.

My real troubles started 7 years ago when I got pregnant. One of the most miserable experiences in my life. I lost and gained 30 lbs during my pregnancy, so I weighed the same on the day I had my son, as I did when I got pregnant.

I had an emergecny c section, which got infected. I had an open would for more than 5 months. It could be a coinsidence, but things go worse after the infection. I am in pain all the time. I have never been able to return to work at 40 hours a week. I am so tired all the time. I've been on anti depressants for 6 years, most of that time I've been taking Zoloft. I would say that my depression has been in remission for a couple of years now. I have a psychiatrist, a pain specialist and a dermatologist for this unexplained rash on my eyelids, and I see a chiropractor once a week. I have not had a sex drive for the past 6 years, which is about how many times my husband and I have been "frisky" in the same time period. I am calling this my asexual "phase". I don't know how my husband of 10 years puts up with it. I am diagnosed with fibromyalgia and depression.

Right now, I am coming off one my self-advocacy kicks. I started asking for referals in January to explore a diagnosis of Lupus. I made a list of all my syptoms from the last six years and took them to my fam doctor (of 10 years). She looked at the list, but didn't even keep it for her file. She gave it back to me at the end of our meeting. One of my new symtoms in January was my belief that my gut (and just my gut) keeps gettng bigger. This was before I had ever hears of Cushings.

She told me to keep a food journal and that I am eating too much. I have a 6 year old, so I know it was a judgement statement when she said, "you would be surprised how many people don't count the food they eat off their kids plates when they are done eating".

I don't eat as much as my fam doctor thinks I do. In fact, I eat more after I meet with my doc out of frustration . . . Why bother eating chicken breakast and grape nuts everyday if I am going to get fat(ter) anyway? If people think I live on McDonald's alone, then why shouldn't I? Of course, I get over this 'tude real quick. I can't eat fast food unless I am only 5 minutes away from a bathroom.

In the end, she did give me a referal to a rheumatologist.

I just had my follow up (and final) appointment with the rheumatologist. She is keeping my fibro label (which is treated with Celebrex, no steroids) She also told me to rest and excercise more. She wouldn't deviate from the stance even when I flat out said, "I don't understand your recommendation". I sleep 8-10 hours with a CPAP and still need a nap in the afternoon. I think the only way I could get more rest is if I opted for a chemically induced coma.

I'm thinking I might have the buffalo hump. I do have a big ole round face. Somedays I think I have no definition to my facial features because my face is so round and fat.

I don't know if I have the mental energy to go another round with doctors trying to get an endo referral. I wouldn't mind looking on the internet for more info, but of course, doctors don't give you a copy of your records. I suspect that I will be given a hard time if I request a copy . . .Also, I don't think I can take another doctor visit where I am told that there is nothing wrong with me. How nutty is that? I feel like crying when a doctor says there isn't anything wrong with me.